Soul Ties: What They Are, How They Form, and How to Let Go (If You Need To)

A soul tie refers to a strong emotional, psychological, and even spiritual connection that forms between two people. The concept of soul ties applies to various types of relationships, including romantic, familial, platonic, and even between a mentor and a mentee. This bond can feel so strong that you can literally feel the other person's emotions, and even their presence, even if this person is miles away from you, and even if you haven't seen this person for years.

One of the main characteristics of a soul tie is its significant influence on you, whether it is healthy, uplifting, and inspiring, or unhealthy, leading to intense emotional pain that feels like an invisible weight you can't shake off. 

From a strictly scientific perspective, sensations associated with a soul tie are linked to the powerful effects of hormones such as oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. They cause addiction-like patterns in the brain, where interactions with the person trigger intense emotional highs, and their absence can lead to noticeable lows.

Recommended Article: 12 Different Types of Soulmates that Shape Our Lives

Types Of Soul Ties

While there is no strict classification of soul ties, we can generally group them into several common types based on how they form and the nature of the connection:

• Emotional: These soul types occur as a result of a strong emotional connection, which is often triggered by the events evoking a strong emotional response. For instance, going through a life-changing event together or sharing the experience of intense positive or negative emotions.
• Physical: Physical soul types occur when a bond between two people is formed through physical intimacy. These soul ties can be especially strong, as sexual contact is associated with the release of powerful hormones.
• Spiritual: Spiritual soul ties occur when two people share a deep spiritual journey or connection. They often carry a sense of destiny or divine purpose.
• Familial: This is probably one of the most common types of soul ties experienced by almost everyone. Most of us always feel a strong connection to our parents and siblings, no matter how far apart we live and how much time passes.
• Friendship: Some friendships can result in a soul tie connection. If you can say about your friend, “we’ve been through a lot together,” then it’s likely you share this type of bond.
• Toxic/Unhealthy: When you are feeling like the relationship is draining your energy, controlling your emotions, or keeping you stuck in a cycle of pain and dependence, it may be a toxic soul tie.

Note: In some cases, several types of soul ties can combine, creating a bond that is even more complex and powerful. For example, a relationship might include both emotional and physical elements, or blend spiritual and friendship ties.

Signs Of Soul Ties

Below are the signs that may reveal you’ve formed a soul tie, and why they’re so hard to ignore. So here they are:

• Persistent (Intrusive) Thoughts About The Person: If you can't stop thinking about someone, and feeling obsessed to the point where they dominate your mental space, even when you try to focus on other things, you most certainly have soul ties.
• You Are Feeling Incomplete Without the Other Person: You may feel like a part of you is missing, as if you’re only half of yourself when they’re not around, leaving you constantly searching for their presence to feel whole again.
• Dreams and Vivid Memories: Constant dreams about the person and recurring, detailed memories of your time together can resurface unexpectedly, making the connection feel alive even when you’re apart.
• Strong Emotional Response: If you feel an intense joy while being together but also experience deep sadness, anxiety, or longing when apart, it may indicate an emotional bond that runs far deeper than a typical connection.
• Difficulty Moving On: Even if soul ties are toxic, you might not be able to detach emotionally or let go of the connection, finding yourself drawn back to the person despite knowing it’s unhealthy.
• High Empathy: You are able to sense even subtle shifts in their tone, expressions, or energy, picking up on what they feel without them having to say a word.
• Impact on Your Decision Making: Many of your decisions, even life-changing ones, such as moving to another city, changing jobs, or altering future plans, may be heavily influenced by their presence or the desire to be closer to them.
• Influence on Your Self-Image and Confidence: Being connected to them can reshape how you see yourself, either boosting your self-worth through their validation or eroding your confidence if the bond becomes critical or unbalanced.

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Soul Ties

The simplest way to express the difference and to understand whether soul ties are healthy or not is to weigh the pros and cons. In simple words, if soul ties bring more good than bad, they are healthy, and if they cause more harm, emotional distress, or hold you back from personal growth, they are unhealthy.

How Does Healthy Soul Ties Feel?

Healthy soul ties are not only about butterflies in your stomach but also about steady, nurturing qualities that build trust and growth. Here is how healthy soul ties usually feel:

• Safe and Seen: You feel completely accepted for who you are, without fear of judgment.
• Inspired and Motivated: Their presence naturally lifts your spirits and makes you want to become a better version of yourself.
• Free Yet Connected: You can spend time apart without anxiety, knowing the bond remains unshakable.
• Calm and Grounded: Being around them brings a sense of peace, as if you can finally exhale and just be yourself.
• Strength in Challenges: Hard times don’t push you apart; instead, you support each other and come out stronger.

What About Unhealthy Soul Ties?

“If your emotions can be hooked, then they can gain a soul tie with you. If they can form a soul tie with you, then they can control you. All abnormal soul ties need to be broken." - Jonas Clark

Unhealthy soul ties are about control. They control how you think, influence how you feel, and even dictate the choices you make, often steering you away from your own values and well-being. Unhealthy soul ties often form with people suffering from personality disorders, such as narcissism or borderline personality disorder. Here is how people with unhealthy soul ties feel:

• Trapped: You feel stuck in the relationship, unable to leave even when you know it’s damaging.
• Emotionally Manipulated: Your feelings are used against you to maintain control or get what the other person wants.
• Isolated: You distance yourself from friends, family, or activities you once enjoyed because of the other person’s influence.
• Constantly Anxious: You live in a state of tension, always worried about upsetting or losing them.
• Guilt-Ridden: You feel responsible for their happiness and well-being, even at the cost of your own.

How Can You Break Unhealthy Soul Ties?

As mentioned, soul ties can feel much like an addiction. Breaking them often requires approaches similar to overcoming addictive patterns. Here is what you can try to break them:

• Replace the Habit: Fill the time and mental space you once gave to the person with new hobbies, goals, and positive experiences.
• Remove Triggers: Avoid places, activities, or items that constantly remind you of the person.
• Establish Healthy Boundaries: Learn to say no and protect your emotional space from being violated.
• Limit or Cut Off Contact: Reduce communication or completely remove the person from your daily life to create space for healing.
• Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Spend time with friends and family who uplift and encourage you.