The act of self-care comprises the things we do to ensure our health and well-being. It's more than just physically taking care of yourself; it’s about doing something that genuinely shows ourselves self-love.
Just like people differ in how they prefer to receive and show love towards others, there are differences in the best self-care strategies for different personalities. What helps one person relax and feel loved may make another person feel totally stressed out.
While we are all unique individuals with different preferences, there are similarities among specific Enneagram personality types.
If you are new to Enneagram types, you can read more about them here.
Not only is self-care essential for your well-being, but it’s also the first step to caring for others.
If you cannot meaningfully care for yourself, chances are you won’t be able to do the same for others. Self-care goes beyond slapping on some robes and sipping wine from a bubble bath. While it may be the ideal self-care for some Enneagram types, yours may just be learning to say “No” and ridding yourself of overwhelming engagements.
This article will look at the nine enneagram types and the best way to carry out self-care.
In addition to information on how to take care of yourself, we’ll also provide tips on giving care to friends and loved ones according to their Enneagram type.
Related: Understanding Your Fears Through the Enneagram Lens
Best Self-Care for Different Enneagram Types
Stress is a part of life. No one can escape it, but that doesn’t mean we must suffer the negative effects. When we practice self-care, we can better cope with life's daily stressors. The result is a healthier and happier state of mind.
Yet, sadly, many of us don’t know how best to take care of ourselves.
We keep going and going… until we are completely burnt out and frazzled. Or we try something we read in an article that touts the “best self-care strategy,” but it does nothing for us. And in some cases, it makes us feel worse.
While this article's primary focus is self-care, many of us have people in our lives that we know are not doing what they need to do to take care of themselves. Unfortunately, when we want to reach out and help them, the advice we give is often based on our preferences. After all, it works for us; it should work for them. Right?
However, what works for you may not be best for your loved ones.
For example, soaking in a warm bubble bath with soft music and dim candles may be just what you need to de-stress at the end of a hectic week. However, a strenuous workout at the gym or a fast game of one-on-one basketball may be the perfect remedy for others.
Understanding Enneagram types and what makes specific personalities tick is an excellent place to start if you want to foster better relationships with yourself and loved ones.
Let’s take a look at self-care tips by Enneagram type. Do note that all the advice we share for caring for others also applies to you if you are that Enneagram.
Self-Care Practices for an Enneagram 1: The Perfectionist
You will notice your love for structures, rules, and boundaries if you are a Type 1 Perfectionist. You may also find it challenging to accept flaws in yourself and others.
Here are some tips to help Enneagram Type 1 get the best self-care:
- Embrace your emotions. Understand that they are not weaknesses but what makes us human.
- Indulge in lighthearted activities with friends.
- Give room for some spontaneous activities. You don't always have to go "by the book."
If you are friends, partners, or family with a Type 1, here are some tips to show them love and care:
- Show up to functions on time; if you are running late, keep them informed about the situation.
- Call or visit when you say you would. Type 1s value structure and will appreciate your respect for their schedule.
- Compliment and offer positive affirmation. Most perfectionists struggle with negative self-talk, and some positive affirmations can lift their spirits.
- Indulge them in lighthearted games when you can.
- Offer to help with projects. While these individuals may appear like they have it all together, a helping hand can go a long way for them.
Self-Care Practices for an Enneagram 2: The Giver
As givers, Type 2s may get caught up in making others feel better while neglecting yourself. The desire to put others first earns this Enneagram type the nicknames of "lover" and "helper." One attribute of the Enneagram Type 2 personality is their genuine love for hosting, gifting, and making sacrifices for others. One attribute of the Enneagram Type 2 personality is their genuine love for hosting, gifting, and making sacrifices for others. However, you will eventually burn out if you don't show yourself love.
Here are some tips to help you practice proper self-care:
- Go on “solo” dates — do something special by yourself.
- Buy yourself gifts and treat yourself as you would others.
- Learn to say no. Do not take on responsibilities that you cannot handle.
- Put yourself first in certain situations.
Here are some tips for caring for your Type 2 friend or loved one.
- Take responsibilities off their plates. E.g., host in their stead, babysit their kids, make them a meal, etc.
- Please encourage them to have boundaries. Let them know that it is okay to be unavailable sometimes.
- Overall, a Type 2 individual feels most loved and cherished in the simple things.
Self-Care Practices for an Enneagram 3: The Achiever
As an achiever, you're always chasing the highs and the need to feel accomplished. Sometimes called “The Performer," Enneagram Type 3 people always think they must be busy doing something, performing.
Here are some tips to help the Enneagram Type 3 get the self-care they deserve.
- Acknowledge your need for rest.
- Maintain healthy boundaries, like not checking your work mail after work hours.
- Indulge in non-screen screen activities during your rest hours.
If you are friends with a Type 3, here’s how to offer them the care they may not know they need:
- Indulge them in less competitive activities and more relaxing games.
- Be their biggest cheerleader.
- Compliment their ability to multitask.
- Encourage them to take breaks. If possible, make plans to help them rest.
Self-Care Practices for an Enneagram 4: Individualist
As an Enneagram Type 4 individual, self-care in the conventional sense may come naturally to you. Often called a romantic, you are not scared to embrace and express your emotions. However, when the gloomy days come, you tend to detach yourself from life. The best way to care for yourself is to set emotional boundaries.
Here are some self-care tips to help Type 4s:
- Romanticize life when you feel gloomy. Enjoy long baths, take leisurely walks, smell the flowers, and appreciate nature.
- Have a gratitude journal. It will remind you of the joys in your life.
- Talk to a friend when you feel blue or go for therapy to help you navigate that phase.
If you have an Enneagram 4 friend, here are tips to help you offer adequate care:
- Create a safe space for them to be vulnerable.
- Have deep, existential conversations with them.
- Help them loosen up by indulging them in lighthearted activities.
Self-Care Practices for an Enneagram 5: The Investigator
As a Type 5 Observer, you are curious about life and constantly consuming information. The best form of self-care is to create a healthy boundary with information.
Here are tips to help Enneagram 5s take better care of themselves:
- Cut off access to news, either at a set time each day or for a specific period.
- Read a relaxing book.
- Enjoy the company of your friends and family.
- Practice meditation to help you calm your mind.
If you have a Type 5 friend, here’s how to show these curious individuals how much you care:
- Have meaningful conversations with them and show interest in them. Ask them about a book they are reading or their favorite TV show.
- Appreciate their vast knowledge through compliments and words of affirmation.
- Indulge them in relaxing activities.
- Respect their personal space.
Self-Care Practices for an Enneagram 6: The Skeptic
If you fall under Enneagram Type 6, you may make more calculative than carefree decisions.
Here are some ways to perform self-care based on your personality:
- Create a structure or routine that helps you feel less anxious.
- Indulge in mindful meditation and breathing exercises.
- Indulge in activities that push you from your comfort zone occasionally.
Here are tips to show love to your Type 6 friends:
- While Type 6 individuals appear to be indecisive, don't make decisions for them. Instead, communicate about each choice until they find clarity.
- Show that you are always there for them through words, texts, and actions.
- Indulge them in some adventure occasionally.
Self-Care Practices for an Enneagram 7: The Enthusiast
As someone with an adventurous spirit, sometimes Type 7s have difficulty slowing themselves down and just “being still.”
Here are some ways Enneagram 7s can care for themselves:
- Incorporate mindfulness into your day through meditation. It helps you stay calm and reduces the need for spontaneity.
- Make a to-do list to help you stay on course.
- Have healthy adventures around your neighborhood. Explore nature, and you’ll always find something new.
If you have an Enneagram Type 7 friend, here are some tips to show them care:
- Indulge in some of their adventures.
- Create adventurous moments in the little things, such as sleepovers, movie nights, and picnics.
- Type 7 individuals tend to enjoy their own company, therefore, learn to respect their personal space when the need arises.
Self-Care Practices for an Enneagram 8: The Challenger and Leader
As someone with the Enneagram Type 8 personality, you always love being at the forefront of a good cause. You are known for being a leader but may not take the lead in caring for yourself.
Here are some tips to help you practice self-care if you are Type 8:
- Take time off to rest. At first, it may sound almost impossible to imagine yourself doing nothing, but it’ll be good for you in the long run.
- Offer financial support to meaningful causes. Donating to charity and NGOs will give you a sense of purpose.
As a friend with an Enneagram Type 8, here are tips to show them care:
- Respect their opinion. Although people with this personality enjoy a healthy debate, they also appreciate when their opinion is respected.
- Allow them to take charge of planning group trips and functions.
- Offer emotional support even when they don’t ask. Type 8s love being the shoulder for others to cry on, but they may also need emotional support now and then.
Self-Care Practices for an Enneagram 9: The Peacemaker
As a Type 9 individual, you will find yourself being empathetic towards those around you. Your tendency towards being the mediator or peacemaker can cause you to put the needs of others before your own.
Here’s how to maintain balance and care for yourself if you are Enneagram Type 9:
- Resist "going with the flow," especially when it's detrimental to your well-being.
- Voice your opinion when the need arises, and don't let things slide just to "keep the peace." Remember, how you express yourself is all that matters.
- Allow others to take care of you.
Here’s how to care for and show love to an Enneagram Type 9 friend:
- Type 9s can be indecisive at times. Be patient with them as they make their choice.
- Help them make decisions by offering options rather than open-ended questions. For example, don't ask, “Where should we eat?” Instead, ask, “The pizzeria nearby or the bistro around the corner?”
- Genuinely seek their opinion about situations.
Caring for Yourself and Others
Burnout syndrome among caring professionals such as teachers, therapists, healthcare professionals, nurses, and doctors is rising. Caregiving takes a lot out of us, especially if we don’t take care of ourselves.
But it is not just these professions that need to implement self-care practices.
Every one of us can benefit from taking better care of our health and well-being.
Not just for ourselves but for the loved ones in our lives! The best relationships are the ones where stronger, deeper connections are formed by learning about each other’s personalities. That friend or sibling may not be so difficult once you understand why they act the way they do.
But it starts with you!
When you better understand your personality and needs, you can better understand and help others!
Want to learn more about self-care and self-love? We have lots of great resources in our free members’ area!
