Also called emotional quotient (EQ), emotional intelligence is the ability to control, perceive, manage, demonstrate, and use your emotions positively to communicate effectively, defuse conflict, empathize with others, relieve stress, and overcome challenges. It also relates to the ability to perceive, decipher, and acknowledge the emotions of others.
Emotional intelligence and social awareness help you achieve career and personal goals, succeed at work and school, and build stronger relationships. Some experts argue that EQ is more important than Intelligent Quotient (IQ) when it comes to achieving success in life.
The term Emotional Intelligence (EQ) was popularized in 1990 by one of the world's famous EQ academics, Daniel Goleman, in his book Emotional Intelligence. Goleman suggested that there is more to a person's success than high IQ levels. He argued that emotional intelligence is twice as crucial as cognitive intelligence in predicting a person's job success.
Daniel Goleman defined emotional intelligence as “the ability to understand and manage your emotions, as well as recognize and influence the emotions of those around you.” While there are 3 major EQ models, with dozens of variations highlighting different aspects of EQ, we will focus on Goleman’s model, which is the most widely used.
Related: EQ vs. IQ — Which Is More Important?
What Are the Components of Emotional Intelligence?
Daniel Goleman's theory of emotional intelligence identifies five components of emotional intelligence, namely self-awareness, empathy, motivation, self-regulation, and social skills. You can significantly improve your general EQ by focusing on developing each EQ component.
Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is crucial for EQ as it helps to regulate your own emotions and understand how and why other people perceive you. In addition, it helps to identify your strengths and weaknesses, so you can always understand what aspects of your behavior you should change to become better.
Imagine being able to navigate challenging situations with ease, respond to others with empathy, and continuously improve yourself by recognizing and addressing areas for growth—self-awareness empowers you to do just that, enhancing your emotional intelligence and overall effectiveness in life.
People with high EQ are aware and comfortable with their emotions, responses, reactions, and ability to act and cope with positive and negative situations. Plus, self-awareness was found to be crucial for effective leadership.
Empathy
Understanding your own emotions is not enough. A highly emotionally intelligent person should be able to understand and react to other people's emotions accordingly. The ability to identify a particular emotion or mood from a friend or colleague can go a long way in strengthening your relationship.
According to Goleman, empathy consists of 3 components:
- Cognitive Empathy: It refers to the ability to understand the point of view of another person
- Emotional Empathy: This is the ability to feel what another person feels.
- Empathetic Concern: This refers to the ability to sense what other person needs from you
Empathy is probably one of the most important components of EQ as by only understanding how to, “put oneself into another’s shoes”, you can build stronger connections, foster trust, and effectively respond to the emotions and needs of those around you, ultimately creating more harmonious and productive relationships.
Motivation
Emotional intelligence has been found to be positively linked with self-concept and confidence. This can be explained by the fact that people with low EQ have higher anxiety. They don’t understand others around them well, which undermines their ability to predict people’s actions. On the contrary, those with a high EQ are less exposed to stress and anxiety, and find it easy to interact with others and achieve goals.
Internal motivation is good for your emotional intelligence as it helps you make clear decisions and be passionate about your actions. Motivated people have a positive outlook on different areas of their lives, including careers, interpersonal relationships, and mental health.
Self-Regulation
Self-regulation is the fourth component of emotional intelligence. It refers to the ability to regulate and control emotions. In other words, it helps individuals suppress intense emotions and helps to think first before acting, allowing for more thoughtful responses and better decision-making.
As a human being, you will experience intense emotions from time to time. However, it is crucial to regulate and manage your feelings and impulses. Acting hastily can damage your relationships and lead you to make mistakes you could have avoided in the first place.
Social Skills
Emotional intelligence also entails having good social skills. People with high EQ can communicate effectively and relate with others in social settings. They can handle pressure, build healthy relationships, and easily take on collaborative tasks.
It’s not a secret that it is easier for people with developed social skills to find useful and meaningful connections, as well as to navigate complex social situations, build rapport quickly, and influence others positively in both personal and professional environments. The good news, any skills in this area can be learned and enhanced over time, by simply engaging in more social interactions
Social intelligence and social competence play a big part in emotional maturity. These can be measured separately from a person's EQ.
Why Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Is Important?
Studies have proven that Emotional Intelligence is associated with better performance in various domains of life. By developing EQ you will be able to navigate social situations better and achieve desired outcomes more easily. We are all humans, after all, and we like to be heard and understood.
Emotional intelligence helps one avoid prejudices and judgments toward others, fostering a more inclusive and empathetic environment where people feel valued and respected. The benefits of high EQ are endless, but let’s take a look at the most important ones.
Better Communication in a Diverse Environment
People are different in their cultures, languages, religions, and traditions, but emotions make us make us universally human, connecting us on a fundamental level that transcends these differences. We all experience the same emotions, and by recognizing and respecting this shared emotional experience, we can bridge gaps in understanding and foster deeper, more meaningful connections with others, regardless of our backgrounds.
Enhanced Teamwork and Collaboration
Emotional intelligence fosters stronger teamwork and collaboration in the workplace. High EQ professionals excel at managing interpersonal dynamics, resolving conflicts constructively, and creating an atmosphere of trust. This leads to more cohesive teams, improved communication, and a supportive environment where everyone can thrive and contribute effectively.
Ability to Predict the Consequences of Others’ Actions
High EQ won’t make a prophet, but it will enhance to anticipate how others might react in various situations, allowing you to respond more effectively and mitigate potential conflicts or misunderstandings before they escalate. What’s more important, EQ helps us to build more meaningful romantic and family relationships. One of the common complaints in couples is, “not being heard”, and emotional intelligence helps address this by promoting genuine understanding, empathy, and open communication.
Better Mental Health
EQ is crucial for identifying cognitive distortions and delusional thinking, by making us more objective. For instance, some people might believe that everyone is mean to them, and in many cases, such thinking can be attributed to low EQ. Those with higher EQ are better able to recognize these distorted thoughts, challenge them, and gain a more balanced and accurate perspective on situations, leading to healthier emotional responses and interactions with others.
Higher Adaptability
While we are already in a post-industrial era, we are still driven by the “Survival of The Fittest Law”. Adaptability is as crucial as before, as those who can adjust to changing circumstances and environments are better equipped to thrive in both personal and professional settings. That’s where EQ comes in — it’s like your secret weapon for staying flexible, handling emotions, and building strong connections that help you succeed no matter what challenges arise.
Quick Tips to Improve Emotional Intelligence
Improving your emotional intelligence doesn’t have to be complicated. In fact, by focusing on a few key areas, you can start making meaningful changes that will positively impact your relationships, decision-making, and overall well-being. It always takes one step at a time to make a positive impact, and here are some steps you can take to become more emotionally intelligent:
- Ask Open-Ended Questions: Engage others in conversation by asking questions that encourage them to share more about their thoughts and feelings.
- Practice Emotional Labeling: Get into the habit of naming your emotions as they arise. Simply identifying whether you're feeling anxious, frustrated, or excited can help you gain control over your emotional responses.
- Seek Feedback: Regularly ask for constructive feedback from others to identify areas for improvement.
- Start Journaling: Keep a daily journal to track your emotions and identify patterns in your feelings and reactions.
- Reflect on Your Interactions: After social interactions, take a moment to reflect on what went well and what could be improved.
- Practice Gratitude: Regularly acknowledging the positive aspects of your life can help shift your emotional outlook.
- Observe Body Language: Pay attention to non-verbal cues from others to better understand their emotions and respond appropriately.
You should approach emotional intelligence like any other skill.
You can develop it over time with consistent practice and dedication. Just as with any skill, the more effort you put into honing your emotional intelligence, the more natural it will become!
Related: Learn About Different Tools and Assessments for Measuring EQ
