Are you great at reading other people’s emotions but struggle to manage your own? Or perhaps you’re a pro at handling social situations, yet keeping yourself motivated feels like a challenge. Or maybe you stay calm under pressure but find it hard to express what you’re feeling. If this rings a bell for you, well—ding-dong!—scenarios like this ring true for most of us.
It’s normal to be strong in some areas while struggling in others, which raises the question: Is emotional intelligence just one thing, or is it something more?
Rather than a single skill, emotional intelligence is a combination of different abilities that shape how we understand, process, and respond to emotions.
Some people are naturally skilled at perceiving emotions, while others excel at using emotions to solve problems or build stronger relationships. To explain these nuances, experts have developed different models of emotional intelligence, each offering its own perspective on how we experience and apply emotions.
In this article, we’ll explore the three main approaches to emotional intelligence: Goleman’s Mixed Model, the Ability Model, and the Trait Model. Don’t let the names intimidate you—I’ll break them down step by step.
By the time we’re done, you’ll have a better understanding of your own emotional intelligence strengths—and where you might want to grow.
Ready to dive in? Let’s get started!
Emotional Intelligence Types: What Emotional Intelligence Research Says
Emotional intelligence isn’t just one thing—it’s a multifaceted concept that researchers have framed in different ways. Many people think of emotional intelligence (EI) in terms of five key areas—self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills—but these actually come from one specific framework: Daniel Goleman’s Emotional and Social Competence Model, which has become the most widely recognized approach to EI.
But why have these become the face of emotional intelligence? While other models hold academic weight, Goleman’s theory has won the popular vote because it’s simple, relatable, practical, and fits our time.
That said, Goleman’s isn’t the only way to look at emotional intelligence. Researchers have framed EI through three distinct models:
- Emotional and Social Competence Model (Goleman) – Also known as the Mixed Model, this approach focuses on emotional and social competencies that influence personal and professional success.
- Four-Branch Model of Emotional Intelligence (Salovey & Mayer) – This ability-based model views EI as a set of cognitive skills related to perceiving, understanding, and managing emotions.
- Trait Emotional Intelligence Theory (Petrides) – This trait model defines EI as a personality characteristic, shaped by how people perceive their own emotional strengths.
Each model provides a different perspective on what emotional intelligence is and how it works. Some emphasize skills you can develop, while others focus on how emotions function in cognition and personality.
So when people ask about the types of emotional intelligence, the answer depends on which model they’re looking at.
Comparing the Three Models of Emotional Intelligence
To better understand how these models differ, let’s compare their core definitions, focus areas, and measurement methods.
How Researchers Define Emotional Intelligence
(The table below summarizes how each model defines emotional intelligence and what it prioritizes.)
| Model | Definition | Focus | How It’s Measured |
|---|
| Mixed Model (Goleman) | Emotional and social skills that drive success. | Practical application in personal & professional life. | Self-reports, leadership assessments. |
| Ability Model (Salovey & Mayer) | The ability to perceive, process, and regulate emotions as a cognitive skill. | Emotional intelligence as a measurable ability, like IQ. | Task-based tests (e.g., MSCEIT). |
| Trait Model (Petrides) | Emotional intelligence as a personality trait, shaped by self-perception. | How people see their own emotional strengths & tendencies. | Self-report questionnaires (e.g., TEIQue). |
To further clarify the key elements that each model identifies as important, let's break them down into the specific emotional intelligence factors each emphasizes.
What Are the Key Types of Emotional Intelligence According to Each Model?
(This table highlights the primary emotional intelligence factors emphasized by each model.)
| Model | Key Emotional Intelligence Factors |
|---|
| Mixed Model (Goleman) | Self-awareness, Self-regulation, Motivation, Empathy, Social Skills. |
| Ability Model (Salovey & Mayer) | Perceiving Emotions, Using Emotions, Understanding Emotions, Managing Emotions. |
| Trait Model (Petrides) | Well-being, Self-control, Emotionality, Sociability. |
Now, let’s break them down so you can see where your own emotional strengths fit in.
Mixed Model of Emotional Intelligence: The “How Can You Use It?” Guide
Daniel Goleman’s Emotional and Social Competence Model, commonly known as the Mixed Model of Emotional Intelligence, offers a practical framework for understanding and applying emotional intelligence.
Unlike other theories that treat EI as either a measurable cognitive ability or a personality trait, Goleman’s model mixes emotional skills with behavioral competencies. It focuses on how emotional intelligence translates into real-world success, particularly in leadership, relationships, and decision-making.
Popularized in his 1995 book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, and later in his 1998 book What Makes a Leader, this model identifies five key emotional competencies that drive personal and professional effectiveness.
While initially aimed at leadership, Goleman’s model has been widely adopted in various fields because it emphasizes practical emotional skills—the kind that help people build relationships, manage stress, stay motivated, and make better decisions. These emotional intelligence skills are universal.
Self-Awareness: Recognizing and Understanding Your Emotions
Have you ever sat across your TV, thinking you could do better than a top Olympic athlete at a seemingly easy event? I think you already know where this is going, lol. Self-awareness simply means understanding oneself.
Not being too critical or overly hopeful, but complete honesty with oneself and others. It is a conscious and deep knowledge of one’s emotions, triggers, strengths, and values.
Self-aware people who know they are quick to anger will walk out of a tense situation rather than fan the flames of conflict by reacting impulsively.
How Self-Awareness Strengthens Your Emotional Intelligence
Developing self-awareness means understanding not just how you feel, but why—and how those emotions influence your actions. Here’s how it shapes emotional intelligence:
- Recognize your reactions to emotional triggers.
- Understand how your reactions affect others.
- Identify areas for improvement.
Tips to Improve Self-Awareness
Building emotional self-awareness takes practice, but these simple strategies can help you develop a deeper understanding of your emotions:
- Journal Daily: Spend a few minutes writing about your emotions and what triggered them.
- Practice Mindfulness: Sit quietly for five minutes, focusing on your breath, and notice how your body and mind feel.
- Ask for Feedback: Check in with a friend or colleague about how they perceive your strengths and weaknesses.
Self-Management: Controlling Emotional Reactions and Impulses
Why not pause a little bit before firing off that angry email? Self-management (also called self-regulation) allows us to manage emotions, reactions, and impulses.
Know how soldiers keep their gun's safety on when they don’t intend to fire? That’s more like what self-management is about.
Similarly, you take control, not letting emotions fire off uncontrollably. Self-management allows for composure and calmness under pressure and rational and strategic thinking when faced with difficulty or emotional triggers.
Self-regulated people use a high dose of self-reflection and thoughtfulness, are adaptive to change, and do not give in to impulsive urges. Instead of reacting angrily to criticism, they reflect, consider the feedback, and respond constructively.
How Self-Management Enhances Emotional Control
Mastering self-regulation helps you stay composed and make better decisions, even in high-stress moments. These skills enable greater emotional control:
- Drop old habits (e.g., emotional outbursts and impulsive actions) and adopt better ones (e.g., calmness and thoughtful responses).
- Calm tense situations instead of adding fuel to the fire.
- Accept feedback more gracefully.
- Adapt to change without giving in to impulsive urges.
Tips to Better Self-Regulate
Gaining better emotional control starts with small, intentional changes. Here are a few ways to strengthen your self-regulation skills:
- Try the 10-Second Rule: When you’re upset, count to ten and breathe deeply before speaking or acting.
- Reframe Challenges: Instead of fuming at the sight of a challenge, ask yourself, “What’s one thing I can do right now to make this better?”
- Build a Calm Routine: Keep a go-to stress-buster handy. You could take a quick walk or listen to your favorite song.
Motivation: Using Emotions to Drive Personal and Professional Goals
People often say, “There’s light at the end of every dark tunnel.” While that’s mostly true, no one gets through a dark tunnel without a high dose of motivation. Motivation is what keeps you going against all odds, especially when no one’s watching.
Motivation could stem from various sources. A business owner’s motivation to succeed could come from family responsibilities (extrinsic motivation), fear of failure (fear motivation), or personal passion (intrinsic motivation).
Highly motivated individuals have a way of rubbing their drive and determination off on people around them. And that's where motivation as a type of emotional intelligence fully finds expression. One way to stay motivated is by setting SMART goals to avoid burnout and feeling overwhelmed.
How Motivation Fuels Emotional Intelligence
Motivation isn’t just about getting things done—it’s about emotional resilience and drive. Here’s how strong motivation supports emotional intelligence:
- Stay committed and take initiative.
- Remain driven and optimistic, even in tough times.
- Inspire others with your determination.
Tips to Stay Motivated
Sustaining motivation requires more than willpower—these techniques can help you stay focused and energized:
- Set Value-Driven Goals: Pick something you care about deeply, not just what looks good on paper.
- Break It Down: Turn big dreams into small, doable steps and celebrate each one.
- Picture the Win: Take a moment daily to imagine how great it’ll feel to succeed.
Empathy: Understanding and Relating to Others’ Emotions
Empathy is the ability to understand and relate to the feelings of others without judging. It’s more like putting yourself in their shoes or looking past the smokescreen of someone’s attitude to understand why they feel the way they do.
It’s not really about showing sympathy (and this is where people often get it wrong) or saying, “I feel bad for you,” but about truly understanding someone’s emotions and responding with care.
Like sensing a coworker’s burnout and offering support. Or, instead of snapping at a colleague who’s been dismissive, you recognize they might feel threatened and address it with more understanding.
How Empathy Deepens Emotional Intelligence
Empathy allows you to connect with others on a deeper level by understanding their emotions and perspectives. These are the ways empathy enhances emotional intelligence:
- Understand others on a deeper level.
- Assist in communicating effectively.
- Appreciate diverse perspectives and power dynamics in teams.
- Reduce conflict and improve collaboration.
Tips to Be More Empathetic
Becoming more empathetic isn’t about grand gestures—it’s about everyday habits. Here’s how you can strengthen your ability to connect with others:
- Practice Active Listening: Give your full attention, nod, and ask open-ended questions like, “How did that make you feel?”
- Watch Out for Clues: Notice how their body language or tone shifts; these often reveal more than words.
- Consider Other People's Perspective: When someone’s upset, think, “What might be going on for them right now?”
Social Skills: Building Relationships and Navigating Social Situations
Social skills (also called relationship management) refer to the ability to communicate, relate, collaborate, and build healthy interpersonal relationships. These skills are particularly important if you manage teams or constantly deal with people.
A team leader with strong social skills won’t have difficulty rallying colleagues around a shared goal.
Social skills are also key to navigating social situations and creating a welcoming environment. An HR manager with strong social skills resolves team disputes by practicing active listening, fostering trust, and finding common ground.
How Social Skills Improve Emotional Intelligence
Strong social skills help you navigate complex interactions, resolve conflicts, and build meaningful relationships. Here’s how they contribute to emotional intelligence:
- Build stronger bonds and lead more gracefully.
- Manage conflict effectively.
- Exert influence and create a welcoming environment.
Tips to Build Social Skills
Social skills improve with practice. Try these strategies to enhance your communication and relationship-building abilities:
- Speak Clearly and Kindly: Say what you mean, but keep it respectful, and check if others get it.
- Resolve Conflicts without Bias: Don't pick sides. Focus on fixing the problem together—ask, “What can we do to move forward?”
- Get Social: Join a group or event to practice connecting with new people and reading the room.
Goleman’s model shines in real-world settings—workplaces, homes, and anywhere relationships matter. It’s less about tests and more about social and emotional competencies you can spot and grow.
It’s no surprise that everyone points to his model when discussing types of emotional intelligence.
Ability Model of Emotional Intelligence: The “Can You Do It?” Test
While Goleman’s model focuses on practical emotional skills, the Ability Model takes a more scientific approach. Instead of examining how emotions influence leadership or relationships, it considers emotional intelligence as a measurable cognitive ability—assessing how well someone can perceive, process, and manage emotions.
Peter Salovey and John Mayer pioneered the Four-Branch Model of Emotional Intelligence, commonly referred to as the Ability Model, in a 1990 paper, viewing emotions as valuable cues for navigating social environments.
They define EI as "the ability to perceive emotion, integrate emotion to facilitate thought, understand emotions, and regulate emotions to promote personal growth." This model focuses on how effectively someone processes emotional information to navigate life’s challenges.
Because it treats emotional intelligence as a cognitive skill, the Ability Model has been widely studied in psychological research. A mental health professional may use ability-based EI assessments, such as the Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test (MSCEIT), to help individuals better understand their emotional processing abilities and decision-making patterns.
The Ability Model breaks down into four key abilities:
Perceiving Emotions
Can you feel the sorrow in a heavy sigh or the embarrassment in a blush? Perceiving emotions is the foundation of EI, and it is akin to having an emotional radar.
Emotional perception is about accurately reading emotions in yourself and others—like knowing your friend’s “I’m fine” actually means “I’m stressed.”
Using Emotions
Here, the ability model says emotions shouldn’t just trigger reactions. Instead, you should use them as fuel
This ability lets you channel emotions to boost creativity or solve problems. It speaks to always seeing the silver lining.
For example, failure might ignite a brainstorming session that'll spur results, while urgency can sharpen focus when you’re trying to beat a deadline. See? Silver lining.
Understanding Emotions
This is about decoding the “why” and “how” of emotions—their causes, transitions, and complexities. Why does sadness linger after anger fades?
Here, you grasp the nuances—like recognizing that a colleague’s irritability might stem from burnout, not personal dislike. Understanding emotions will help you respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.
Managing Emotions
This ability speaks to the art of emotional mastery. It’s not bottling up your feelings and pretending everything is all right but guiding your emotions constructively. It's about staying calm in a crisis or helping a friend through theirs.
Emotional mastery often shines in high-stakes moments, fostering resilience and harmony. It’s the difference between yelling in traffic and taking a deep breath to refocus.
We all require emotional self-control to be our best selves. Emotions may run high, but mastery is critical to keep us grounded and focused on the bigger picture.
These abilities build on each other, from basic emotional perception to advanced emotion regulation and management.
Think of it as leveling up in a game, where each skill unlocks the next. Tools like MSCEIT measure these skills through tasks, not self-reports, making this model a favorite for its scientific rigor.
Real-World Application: Using the Ability Model in Everyday Life
Though the Ability Model is rooted in scientific research, its principles apply to everyday situations. People who develop these four emotional abilities can:
- Improve relationships by becoming more aware of emotional cues in themselves and others.
- Handle stress better by recognizing emotional patterns and using emotions constructively.
- Make more rational decisions by understanding how emotions influence thought processes.
How to Strengthen Ability-Based Emotional Intelligence
Developing these abilities takes awareness and practice. Try these strategies to apply the Ability Model in everyday life:
- Practice Identifying Emotions: Observe facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice to improve emotional perception.
- Strengthen Emotional Regulation: When faced with intense emotions, pause and reflect before reacting.
- Use Emotions as a Guide for Decisions: Recognize how feelings influence choices, and use them constructively to improve problem-solving.
By actively applying these skills, you can enhance your ability to navigate emotions in both personal and professional settings. Developing these abilities over time leads to stronger emotional intelligence and more intentional decision-making.
Trait Model of Emotional Intelligence: The “How Do You See Yourself?” Lens
While the Ability Model treats emotional intelligence as a skillset you can measure and improve, and Goleman’s Mixed Model focuses on practical emotional skills, the Trait Model takes a different approach. Instead of asking how well you can process emotions, it asks: How do you see yourself emotionally?
The Trait Emotional Intelligence Theory, developed by Konstantinos V. Petrides in the late 1990s and early 2000s, is commonly known as the Trait Model and views emotional intelligence as part of your personality traits.
Because this model focuses on self-perception, it is sometimes considered in discussions about emotional well-being. A mental health professional may explore Trait Emotional Intelligence (Trait EI) when helping individuals build emotional resilience, strengthen self-awareness, and develop healthier emotional responses.
Measured through self-report questionnaires like the Trait Emotional Intelligence Questionnaire (TEIQue), the model highlights four core areas:
Well-Being
Well-being is your emotional bedrock. It’s the inner glow of optimism and self-worth that helps you bounce back from life’s knocks.
It’s not just about feeling happy in the moment but about cultivating a lasting foundation that empowers you to navigate life’s challenges gracefully. People high in this trait radiate positivity, seeing setbacks as temporary and opportunities as plentiful.
Self-Control
Self-control is your emotional guardrail, keeping impulses in check and stress at bay. It’s the pause before a harsh reply, the choice to walk away from a fight, or the discipline to stick to your long-term goal over instant gratification.
High emotional self-control doesn’t mean you’re a robot—it means you wield your emotions intentionally, preserving peace and clarity.
Emotionality
Emotionality is your emotional antenna—how well you sense and share feelings, and is closely tied to social awareness. It’s the empathy that lets you feel a friend’s joy or pain, the expressiveness that deepens conversations, and the knack for building trust.
People with high emotionality are often the glue in interpersonal relationships, but they must balance it with boundaries to avoid emotional overload.
Sociability
Sociability is your social superpower—how you shine in groups, sway opinions, and forge ties. It’s not just about being outgoing; it’s reading the room, knowing when to lead or listen, and standing up confidently.
Folks with strong emotional intelligence excel at networking or mediating, turning strangers into allies with charm and awareness.
Real-World Application: Understanding Your Emotional Personality
Since Trait EI is about self-perception and emotional tendencies, developing awareness of your natural strengths can help you navigate life more effectively. People with higher Trait EI tend to:
- Handle setbacks better by staying optimistic and emotionally resilient.
- Communicate more effectively by understanding their emotional patterns.
- Build deeper relationships by recognizing how their emotional tendencies influence social interactions.
How to Become More Aware of Your Trait EI
Trait EI is deeply tied to self-awareness. Use these approaches to better understand and manage your emotional tendencies:
- Engage in Self-Reflection: Take note of your typical emotional responses and how they influence your interactions.
- Seek Feedback from Others: Ask close friends or colleagues how they perceive your emotional strengths and areas for growth.
- Track Emotional Patterns: Keep a journal to recognize recurring emotions and how they impact your decisions.
Awareness of your Trait EI can help you make better choices in relationships, work, and personal growth. While personality traits may be stable, understanding and managing them can improve how you interact with the world.
Your Next Steps Toward High Emotional Intelligence: Embrace the Journey
Emotional intelligence isn’t about mastering every model or skill perfectly—it’s about continuously growing in how you navigate emotions and connect with others. It’s a lifelong process of self-discovery and meaningful relationships, not a one-time achievement.
To start, reflect on where you naturally excel and where you could improve.
Maybe you're the social butterfly who effortlessly sparks conversations and builds connections, yet when emotions run high, self-regulation feels like a challenge—like a thermostat that can’t quite keep the temperature steady. Or perhaps you're highly in tune with your own emotions but struggle to interpret or respond to others' cues.
No matter where you stand, growth is always possible. Emotional intelligence isn’t fixed; it’s something you can actively develop over time.
Choose one area to focus on first. Whether it’s strengthening emotional awareness, deepening empathy, or improving self-regulation, the key is taking small, consistent steps. Progress may feel gradual, but even the smallest efforts—reflecting, practicing, adjusting—will create lasting change.
Emotional intelligence isn’t just about knowledge; it’s about action.
The more you practice, the more naturally it will come. Like learning to ride a bike, you find your balance by moving forward. Keep learning, keep growing, and let emotional intelligence guide you toward a deeper understanding of yourself and those around you.
