For a long time, I thought the fear of success was an excuse for people who didn’t want to do the work. Failure made sense to fear. But why would anyone fear success?
As it turns out, the fear of success isn’t about being afraid of success itself but the consequences, responsibilities, and expectations that come with it. Many fear success because of the increased pressure, social or economic backlash, sky-high expectations, and the possible distance from loved ones.
Do you fear that success might demand too much, change your identity, or alienate you from others?
Let’s break down the reasons behind this fear and explore nine practical strategies to overcome it.
Why People Fear Success and 9 Practical Ways to Overcome It
People fear success for different reasons. Some fear the spotlight, others dread the increased pressure and expectations, and many worry about how success might change their identity, relationships, and responsibilities.
There is no universal fix for success anxiety. However, self-awareness can help you understand the root cause and identify fitting solutions. Let’s break down these causes and solutions.
1. When Success Isn’t Everything You Thought It Would Be
I once sacrificed sleep, hobbies, and relationships to chase a big dream. To my surprise, crossing the finish line was anticlimactic, as I felt sorely lacking in fulfillment, purpose, and direction. I realized I had tied so much of my identity and purpose to the goal that I felt lost once it was over. That emptiness affected my drive toward future success.
What to Do When Success Doesn’t Fulfill You
I found these strategies helpful in overcoming fear of success due to a lack of fulfillment.
- Prioritize Goals with Fulfilling Processes, not Outcomes: Rate your goals. Check if you enjoy the process or just the outcome.
- Build a Multi-dimensional Life: List 3-5 fulfilling roles outside your current ambition (friend, mentor, volunteer, etc.) and nurture them weekly.
- Create a Post-Success Plan: Decide how you’ll celebrate and what comes next.
- Perform a Goal Autopsy: After every big goal, evaluate the process by asking yourself: What did I enjoy most? What drained me? What part fulfilled me?
- Build Your Own Life Vision, Not Just a Goal: Design a life plan that covers all personal growth areas so success in one area doesn’t feel like the end of the road.
2. When You Had a Negative Childhood Experience With Success
If your caregivers tied your worth to achievements, it’s no surprise that success doesn’t fulfill you. You grew up believing your success was about making others proud, proving yourself, or meeting impossible expectations. Now, you associate success with stress, fearing it may cost you your peace, identity, and relationships.
What to Do When You Fear Success Due to Childhood Experience
Try these strategies to overcome success phobia due to childhood issues.
- Define What Success Means to You Now: You may need to redefine success in different areas of your life, prioritizing fulfillment over external validation. Revise these definitions weekly to foster a positive attitude toward success.
- Rediscover Your Favorite Childhood Activities: List your favorite childhood activities and enjoy one per week without pressure. Research shows that highly playful adults are more resilient and more positive about the future.
- Avoid Seeking Approval: Evaluate your current goals and ask yourself, “Would I still want this if no one clapped?”
- Choose Fulfilling Goals: Rate your goals (1–10) based on how satisfying they feel.
- Seek Therapy: Consult a certified mental health professional to unpack early success-related trauma.
3. When You Fear That Success Will Bring Unwanted Attention
Success often brings public recognition. But introverts, shy individuals, and socially anxious people usually find public attention suffocating. You want to do great work, not become the talk of the town. However, since achievement and public recognition are generally inseparable, you may start fearing the success you’ve worked for.
What to Do When You Fear the Spotlight Success Brings
Try these strategies to overcome the fear of success due to unwanted visibility.
- Choose How You Want to Be Seen: Write instead of speaking, lead behind the scenes, or use a pseudonym if your work allows.
- Practice Receiving Praise Gracefully: Rehearse simple responses, like “Thank you, that means a lot” or “I appreciate you noticing,” when you receive compliments on your work.
- Create a Visibility Comfort Plan: Brainstorm how to manage uncomfortable public situations. Consider politely declining public appearances or hiring a spokesperson.
- Work With a Therapist: Consult a licensed therapist to build confidence in handling visibility.
4. When Success Comes with Increased Expectations and Responsibilities
You once poured your heart into a work project and delivered spectacularly, receiving massive praise. Unfortunately, your one-time win became the new baseline for evaluating your performance. Your manager piles on extra tasks because they believe you can handle them. You now hesitate to chase success because past experiences show it increases expectations and responsibilities.
What to Do When Success Raises the Bar Too High
Try these strategies to overcome the fear of success due to increased expectations.
- Set Boundaries: Resist unreasonable demands from managers and co-workers. Ask for realistic timelines and extra support if their demands persist.
- Use a Win-Rest-Repeat System: Schedule a low-effort recovery period after every significant milestone.
- Aim for Sustainable Achievements: Track achievements and avoid tasks that put you at risk of burnout.
5. When You Fear That Success Might Change You Negatively
You’ve seen people succeed and suddenly become unrecognizable. Their humility fades, and their relationships crumble. If you’ve seen someone becoming self-absorbed after a significant achievement, you might fear the same happening to you.
What to Do When You Fear Success Might Change You Negatively
Try these strategies to prevent the negative changes that come with success.
- Appoint an Accountability Partner: Choose a close friend who wouldn’t hesitate to correct your mistakes. Tell them to inform you if success ever changes you for the worse.
- Define Your Core Values: List 5-10 positive traits or values you never want to lose, no matter how successful you become, and revisit this list whenever you hit a milestone.
- Develop Practices to Keep You Grounded: Schedule weekly calls with loved ones. Volunteer, journal, or spend time in nature. Maintain these practices after you become successful, and be grateful for how far you have come.
6. When You Fear Success Will Lead to Emotional Isolation
You’ve seen how your favorite celebrities feel emotionally isolated despite being surrounded by admirers and sycophants. You fear chasing success will pull you away from those you love and strain your authentic relationships.
What to Do When You Fear Success Will Cause Emotional Isolation
Try these strategies to prevent success leading to emotional isolation.
- Build Rituals of Connection with Your Loved Ones: List 3-5 people you never want to lose touch with and schedule weekly calls and monthly dinners.
- Vet New Relationships: Choose friends who love you for you, not your accomplishments.
- Create a Safe Space to Be Vulnerable: Your safe space can be with your therapist, journal, or a heart-to-heart session with a loved one.
7. When You Fear That Success Gives You More to Lose
You’ve failed more times than you can count. But you’ve always been able to pick yourself up and try again quietly. Successful people do not have this luxury. When you’re successful, there’s more to lose, more people watching, and more pressure to avoid mistakes. So, you choose safety over risk. Because obscurity, while unremarkable, feels far less painful than a public downfall.
What to Do When You Fear Failing after Succeeding
Try these strategies to cope with failure after success.
- Normalize the Post-Success Stumble: List 3-5 people you admire who failed after success but bounced back stronger. Study their stories and revisit them when this fear resurfaces.
- Fail Forward: Create a monthly reflection journal where you evaluate your failures, asking questions like, “What worked? What didn’t? What will I do differently?”
- Build a Safety Net: Create a safety net journal where you list 3-5 people you can count on for support if things go south, the skills or savings you can fall back on, and the steps you’ll take if you fail publicly.
8. When Your Fear of Success Is Caused by Imposter Syndrome
You’ve earned praise, but credit it to luck or timing, never merit. Each success fuels your impostor syndrome, and the fear of being exposed as a fraud makes the thought of chasing more success terrifying.
What to Do When You Fear Success Due to Imposter Syndrome
Try these strategies to tackle your fear of success due to impostor syndrome.
- Separate Feelings from Facts: Write down your three most recent achievements and why you think you don’t deserve them. Fact-check those thoughts using prompts like, “Did I prepare? Did I show up? Did I solve a problem?”
- Find Your Confidence Anchor: Pick an area where you feel competent (e.g., helping friends, organizing, volunteering) and describe 2–3 specific moments you excelled there. Read them when self-doubt creeps in.
- Track Your Accomplishments: Start a personal success folder. Include anything that proves your impact, such as kind messages, before-and-after results, and testimonials.
- Talk to Someone: Share your feelings with 1-2 trusted friends to eliminate negative beliefs and thoughts.
9. When You Fear the Impact of Success on Your Relationships
You worry that your loved ones might feel inferior or treat you differently if you succeed, so you pull back instead of reaching higher. Many women who achieve success fear being tagged as too ambitious or too independent because their success doesn’t conform to traditional gender roles.
Then there’s the Tall Poppy syndrome, which describes how people resent, criticize, and attack successful people to cut them down to size.
What to Do When You Fear Success Will Hurt Your Relationships
Do these to mitigate the negative impact of success on your relationships.
- Assess Your Inner Circle: List 3-5 people with whom you share mutual love and respect. Lean on them for support as you chase success.
- Filter Out the Bad Eggs: List the people who often react unpleasantly to your accomplishments and keep your distance from them.
- Find Like-Minded Individuals: Look for mentors, peers, or online communities where success is a shared goal, not a threat.
- Embrace the Challenge (Women): Learn from women who succeeded against the odds, and know your victory will inspire those who come after you.
10 Signs You Might Be Afraid of Success
Wondering if you’re dealing with a fear of success? Look out for these clues.
- You procrastinate when the opportunity for success emerges.
- You feel anxious whenever you visualize being successful.
- You feel guilty because you’re more successful than your colleagues.
- You hide your accomplishments from others.
- You quit when it seems success is on the horizon.
- You set goals that don’t challenge you due to your low self-efficacy.
- You engage in self-sabotage or self-destructive behaviors when close to a win.
- You set impossible goals, so you never truly succeed.
- You worry that your success might change too much.
- You avoid opportunities to grow personally or professionally.
Achieving Success Requires the Right Attitude and Mindset
Combating our fear of success requires a change in mindset and attitude. With the right mindset, we learn to value progress over perfection and growth over applause. We stop shrinking to stay safe and begin expanding into who we’re meant to be.
So don’t just close this tab and carry on.
Choose one fear that resonates with you and act on its strategy. Make one bold, quiet change this week. Practice positive affirmations to attract success into your life. Say yes to the opportunities you usually ignore.
Because, as Marianne Williamson reminds us:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?”
It’s time you stepped into that light.
